Book Review: "Welcome to Dead House” (Goosebumps #1) by R. L. Stine
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐☆☆ - 3 out of 5 stars
Format: Physical Paperback, Owned
If you are a fellow millennial - slash - 90's kid, then Goosebumps likely maintained a widespread presence in your childhood. The franchise was everywhere when I was in elementary school, from Scholastic book fairs to after-school programming. While I was already diving into horror films far above my age range ("Candyman" anyone?), it felt somehow validating to have an adult create horror stories for people my age.
If you want to know more about what inspired my journey down memory lane, read my "Goosebumps Challenge" book blog. Otherwise, let the nostalgia commence!
[Warning: Some of the details in my review may contain 30-year-old spoilers, so read at your own risk.]
What to Know About "Welcome to Dead House" (Goosebumps #1) by R.L. Stine
The Quick & Dirty Reading Details
Horror, Paranormal
Children's Fiction
Jump Scares
Dialogue Heavy
Cliff-Hanger
Tells, Not Shows
Anthropocentrism
TRIGGERS: Pet Harm, Animal Violence, Gore
The Plot of R.L. Stine's "Welcome to Dead House"
After their parents receive unexpected news of a long-lost family member's death, Amanda and Josh find themselves moving to a new home in a new town. Not only is the house giving haunted vibes, but the town itself is "dead", so to speak. Trying to make the best of a challenging situation, the siblings and their dog, Peetey, set out to get to know the kids in the area. However, not even a good attitude can prevent the increasing creepiness of Dark Falls from coming to light.
"Welcome to Dead House" (Goosebumps #1) Book Review
My Thoughts
The first book in the Goosebumps series has an incredible plot – I'm a sucker for a haunted house! However, I think the idea becomes hindered by unrealistic dialogue throughout. For instance, Amanda says, "We promised we'd give Dark Falls a chance – remember?" Kids, even in the 90s, didn't talk like scripts, but in Stine's defense, impractical conversations were a staple of media during that period. (Did you ever watch "7th Heaven"? Ugh, it was awful.)
I completely sympathize with the challenge of writing good dialogue; when I took creative writing courses as an undergrad, it was my biggest struggle. Actually, it was probably tied with the concept of "show, don't tell", which is another pain point for me when reading "Welcome to Dead House".
There are multiple instances where the text simply says what is going on, what is being felt, or what reactions are taking place as opposed to describing these happenings, like, "What if something happened to them? That's what I started to say. But I caught myself just in time. I didn't want to scare Josh any more than he was already." While I doubt I noticed these issues when reading the horror novel as a child, I found it incredibly distracting as an adult.
[SPOILER AHEAD]
Another issue I took with Goosebumps #1 is anthropocentrism. While the family isn't abusive to Petey the canine, they do constantly refer to him as dumb, and when they find out he's been murdered, they don't even consider going on a full John Wick revenge mission. As someone who's convinced they birthed their four-legged children herself, I couldn't relate less to their reaction. Honestly, it takes away a full star for me.
There also seems to be unintended misogyny in certain parts of the book. For example, Amanda does the dishes after dinner because she's a quirky cleaning addict. She's also not a little shithead like her brother because she's "a girl". Seriously, the text states:
"We may look alike, but we're really not that similar. I'm a lot more patient than Josh is. A lot more sensible. Probably because I'm older and because I'm a girl."
This concept was regularly utilized during the era it was published and up through much of the naughts (2000s) where an attempt to counteract sexism by pointing out how great female characters are ends up also eliciting sexist tones. As if her greatness is solely based on her perceived gender and not the restraints and expectations placed on her culturally as a female. It's just too simplified for me, but considering the historical context and the age range of the targeted reader, I'm not sure it's fair to judge the material through feminist criticism in 2023.
Along with an interesting plot, the horror-based imagery redeems some of the shortfalls of "Welcome to Dead House" for me as an adult reader. In a nightmare, Amanda dreams about her family sitting down for a meal, but instead of their current appearances, they were skinless, eyeless skulls partaking in a rather grotesque meal:
"The four of us, all dead, sat eating in silence. Our dinner plates, I saw, were filled with small bones. A big platter in the center of the table piled high with gray-green bones, human-looking bones."
Creepy as hell! Honestly, I'm surprised they got away with such graphic details in a kids’ novel, but I think the gore helps drag the reader into the story, making it easier to overlook other pain points.
Overall, “Welcome to Dead House” is a good read — not great, but good. I think it’s a solid start for my Goosebumps Challenge, so I’m looking forward to see how the writing progresses through the series.
Would I Recommend: No for adults, Yes for kids
Would I Re-Read: No
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🖤 Thanks -Tiff